I've just had the world's laziest day. I've done, literally, nothing from about noon until now, and I've enjoyed every damn minute of it. Instead of working on my thesis like my away message proclaimed, I have sat on the couch the entire afternoon and surfed the internet while watching the usa network. What a way to spend my time. Working too hard, I feel, is a bad way to spend your life, I intend to remedy this problem by sitting around and doing nothing more often. I purposely haven't watched the news all day. It is, unfortunately, too depressing for me to sit through right now. I have a strange sense of attactment, and detachment...if that makes any sense to what's going on overseas. I'm just so tired of hearing all the crap that the media spouts about Lebanon, Iraq, how horrible the Middle East is. It just makes me angry. It gives this horrible skewed view of what's really going on. I am, almost one hundred percent certain, that nobody really knows what the hell is happening over there, not the media, not the army, not our government. The fact that I sit here every night and listen to news reports 18th hand just boggles my mind.
There are some days when I wish I was over there, with my family. I'm not really sure why, I just do. I miss visiting, I miss the overwhelming feeling of family and togetherness. With starting work and being away from my family so much I just realize how little time we actually all spend together. In Jordan, we're always together, we eat together, celebrate together, really live together. It's just such a different feeling, and in the fast paced and isolated world that is good 'ol America, I really feel it. I guess that's my feeling of strange detachment from everything. I have family all across the Middle East, and I do think about them a lot, even moreso in the past few years, but at the same time, I'm so distant from the situation it's hard to remember that I do have ties to the entire sordid mess, however small and insignificant they might seem to some. Sometimes I wonder what my dad is thinking when he watches the news reports. I ask him everytime I see him if he's talked to the family, his only reponse ever is "yes", and then he stops talking about it. The other day we heard about our old friend's family who is over in the north of Lebanon, right now relatively safe from what's going on, then in the same breath he told us about his friend's wife who is in the south, trying to get out of Beruit. It's just so weird and surreal, I can't imagine any of these places that I've been being turned into war zones in a matter of days, it just doesn't seem possible. You just want to shake people and ask why. No explanation I've heard so far makes a lick of sense to me. I think that's what I find so irritating.
I wish people over here had a better perception or perspective of what the Middle East is like, it's so beautiful, and amazing, and just so different. More different than any other place I've ever visited, I just wish more people had the opportunities I've had to experience life over there. Maybe if more people understood it, we'd be better equipped to help, instead of seemingly making everything worse.
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